Research

Within my research, I delve into the profound implications of spiritual enlightenment, dissecting its impact on the recollection of memories. This exploration serves as a catalyst for a reevaluation of personal identity and a disquieting questioning of perceived reality. The core of this inquiry revolves around the emergence of inexplicable memories and an elevated self-awareness, fostering a clandestine contemplation of one's actions and instilling a pervasive sense of amnesia. This study meticulously examines instances where recollection appears selectively obscured, akin to severe amnesia, necessitating a comprehensive exploration of the underlying forces at play.
Personally, I have undergone an evolving understanding of my identity, prompting fundamental inquiries into the authenticity of my reality. This evolving narrative incorporates covert sentiments concerning selfhood and past actions, indicating a cognitive struggle to reconcile newfound insights. Moreover, the research conveys a sense of accessing information, alluding to a parallel world of knowledge deliberately concealed from public scrutiny. This prompts an exploration into the nature of this ostensibly hidden information, its intended audience, and the implications for the individual undergoing such revelations.
The study also addresses the phenomenon of dissociation, marked by a perceived disconnection and a sense of being lost. This dissociative experience is scrutinized within the context of my personal journey, aiming to comprehend the contributing factors and their impact on the pursuit of truth and self-discovery.
Through a meticulous analysis of these experiences, my research endeavors to unravel the intricate complexities of spiritual enlightenment's influence on memory, identity, and perception. In doing so, it aspires to contribute meaningfully to the broader discourse on consciousness and self-awareness, shedding light on the nuanced interplay between spiritual enlightenment and the construction of individual reality.

One of the most troubling things I witnessed in the United States during the Biden Administration was the decision to resume nuclear testing after Russia and the U.S. broke the nuclear treaty. This included the commission to build the B61-13. In 2023, another nuclear bomb was tested in Nevada, and it seemed to pass by without much attention or notice.

Exploring Identity

Memories

During my childhood, I exhibited a natural curiosity and giftedness, leading me to delve into the ancient art of Taekwondo—an intricate form of self-defense developed by ancient Koreans. Following World War II, this martial art was introduced to the United States, where Grand Masters trained instructors to teach the art to young practitioners.
At the age of 14, I achieved my first bachelor degree, attaining a junior third degree Level 1 proficiency. However, my Grand Master urged me to go beyond mere proficiency, encouraging me to explore the artistic dimensions of Taekwondo and cultivate my unique expressive voice by exploring art.
In pursuit of this artistic evolution, I ventured into the realm of visual arts, undertaking private oil painting lessons at a local studio, enrolling in numerous art classes throughout high school, and furthering my studies in art and art history at the higher education level. Today, my foundation remains deeply rooted in the ancient language of my ancestors, transcending the role of a mere practitioner into that of an artist.
The works presented below utilize Sumi ink, also known as Sumi-e ink and brush techniques, creating a fusion of painting and drawing to explore my memories and emotions. This artistic journey not only connects me with the ancient asian cultural influence—but a synthesis of Eastern and Western philosophies, contributing to a rich tapestry of knowledge.
In my pursuit of the mystical dimensions inherent in martial arts, I immersed myself in the investigation of "The Old Ways"—age-old methodologies safeguarded within discreet societies dedicated to the study of energy movement practices. This concealed force necessitates deliberate intent or bodily casting to set motion into action. Across various martial arts styles worldwide, one can discern the progression of techniques crafted to manipulate and channel energy within the realm of combat, exemplified by Tai Chi—an ancient Chinese martial art characterized by slow, graceful movements.
Through the integration of ancient martial arts techniques, art, art history, and mystical practices, I have embarked on a distinctive artistic journey that serves as a rich source of inspiration. This unique synthesis motivates me to diligently capture and articulate my discoveries through the dual mediums of visual art and written expression.
Yet, within the recesses of my memories, there exists a mysterious void—an erasure of aspects of my identity. This concealed dimension has evolved into a clandestine part of my being, gradually unveiled through my artistic endeavors as a means of self-discovery. Rooted in a childhood immersed in the study of martial arts, my innate curiosity extended to history and art. Despite my passion for creation, I encountered a profound shift in my neurological experience, leading to a sense of disability and detachment. This intricate interplay of my past and present serves as both a challenge and a wellspring of inspiration in my ongoing artistic exploration.


In the realm of Korean ink painting, artists commonly employ a blend of brush strokes and ink washes. Brush strokes play a pivotal role in outlining the image, while ink washes are skillfully utilized to introduce shading and depth.

Spiritual


Reflecting on my recollections of individuals and past experiences, I find myself perplexed by their lack of coherence.

Observing the prevailing dialogues within my nation, I discern a covert, nuanced communication embedded within human interactions.

Presently, societal discourse appears confined within isolated spheres, discouraging any form of inquiry.

Our interactions are heavily monitored, fostering a climate of apprehension towards scrutinizing the very fabric of the civilizations we have constructed.

Secret: Feelings


In the realm of my existence, I find myself obligated to both financially sustain and, if necessary, sacrifice for the world I inhabit.

However, any inclination to scrutinize its authenticity or validity is met with ostracism, often leading to confinement within the constraints of societal perceptions of instability.

Survival demands the application of critical thinking and innovative problem-solving, avenues through which inquiries into the intricacies and mysteries of this world are permissible.

Divulging the truths underlying our reality remains forbidden, constraining the dissemination of such insights.

Who are these people and why are they important to me? They are the ramblings of a troubled woman attempting to conceal her madness while witnessing her world approach the apocalypse.

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